Does size matter?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The stripclub is an opportunity, not a threat

Next time you learn that your guy is a supporter of the exotic dance industry, persuade him to bring you along on his next trip. Too often women use hearsay as a means of making uninformed decisions. Go for yourself to see what takes place in a strippie. You might be surprised. And if his response to your interest in attending is negative or met with emotion, tell him you're going with your girlfriends to a male revue!

Minute men

Sexual intercourse isn't a perfect science. Rarely do people climax simultaneously. One person usually crosses the finish line first. From a guys perspective, this situation can be handled well if you are strong in your femininity. In the event that the guy gets off first, and you'd like to avoid an argument, avoid peppering your guy with quips such as, "That was quick!" or "Already?!" and the most loathsome, "Wham bam thank you ma'am!" That last one tends to set us off to no end.

Here's the deal, guys have a tendency to reach climax faster during missionary and doggy style sex. By contrast, during girl on top sex, we can hold out a bit longer because we aren't exerting as much energy and effort. General rule of thumb; if you want a quickie make him get on top, otherwise try offering Viagra, Cialis or horny goat weed.

If there is any consolation to your dissatisfaction, try looking at it from this perspective; your vajayjay is a freakin piece of art! It should probably be molded, and put on display in the Louvre. Take your guys quick nut as a compliment to your unbelievable hotness.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Guys and sports

It's currently March Madness and you'll probably be second fiddle to the NCAA tournament for the next 3 1/2 weeks, consider yourself warned!
Most guys became interested with sports at a very early age. My two sons have been wearing sports themed baby clothes since they were days old. If you think that you can reverse this allegiance, you're about as smart as a statue. Instead of trying to go against the grain, you should try to learn more about the various sports that exist. One great way to learn about sports is to watch ESPN. ESPN is know as the world wide leader in sports and its on 24 hours a day. This is something that you can do on your own time and you don't have to feel dumb when you are constantly asking a guy----you can be the one rebutting his arguments. Imagine this scenario - You and a guy are at a restaurant or in a bar and the tv mentions something about the T.O. saga. You say "T.O. sure was an awesome receiver when he was a 49er! His career has steadily gone downhill ever since" The guy will be shocked! Try it, and tell me how it works for you. Word of advice, watch ESPN for about 15-20 minutes either in the morning while you're preparing for work/school or watch it when you get in it doesn't matter, give yourself at least a week before you go sharing your recently acquired sports knowledge.

Do I flake?

If your first thought was related to dandruff, you should probably stop reading this blog and go buy some Head and Shoulders shampoo. If you are sure that your hair is clean, read on.

In guy speak, flaking is a term used to describe a lazy, rude, self-absorbed female. Now think to yourself, are you guilty of the following offenses?

1. Do I take more that 4-5 hours to respond to a guys text messages?
2. Do I take more than 2-3 days to return a guys call?
3. Do I fall asleep before I'm supposed to meet a girl or guy friend for a date?
4. Has my 'period' become an overused excuse to cancel on my girl or guy friends?
5. Am I lazy?
6. Do I have a dog who receives more of my attention than any guy in my life?
7. Do I find myself making lots of excuses?
8. Do my girlfriends see me as unreliable?
9. Do I use my beauty as a method of getting over on people?
10. Do I have a hangover on more than 3 different occasions during a given week?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you are a flake, my dear.
Well, Mr. G, how do I become less flaky?
The answer is simple. Start taking other people's feelings into consideration and stop being so damn selfish! Think about what it would feel like if you had gotten your haircut, bought a new outfit, worked overtime so that you could have the day off, washed and vaccumed your car, got a manicure only to learn that your guy or girl friend has canceled on you at the last minute. Sucks huh? STOP FLAKING!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Make yourself visible

Women too often try to capture the attention of men with their eyes. This sometimes causes embarrassing moments of awkward blushing and side glances. Why not try to capture our attention by not looking at us? I've noticed that the most attractive women I see, usually don't see me! Why? They have mastered the art of attraction. Here are some tips to get guys to notice you:

1. More color, less black! - Unless you're in mourning avoid, dark or drab colors such as black, dark grey or dark blue. Men are turned off by female insecurity, they often signal deeper issues that we'd rather not deal with. Color expresses confidence and shows us that you are happy with your appearance. There is nothing more annoying to us than women who are constantly complaining about their appearance.

2. Stop scratching your damn hair! - Some men are intrigued by playful flipping or tossing of the hair; as long as its clean. When a guy sees a girl constantly scratching her hair it tells us that she may have other itchy hair occupying regions on her body --- not good.

3. Wear less perfume! - Perfumes by their nature are strong. Rather than spraying yourself from head to toe with your favorite fragrance, try dabbing a small portion to your wrists and the back of your earlobes.

4. Put your boobs away! - If you are trying to attract sex, by all means carry on. But if you see yourself as more than a casual lay, try to cover up a bit. If you can see cleavage when you look in the mirror you are showing too much. Guys with class, also know as gentlemen, can see what you're working with already, cleavage is not creating intrigue. And guys like intrigue.